What I do

Now that I’ve moved back home, people have been asking me on a regular basis what I “do”...whatever that means. So here’s a helpful list of my day-to-day activities: 

• Yoga: My mom and I started going to yoga classes at the San Ramon Community Center. I’ve never done yoga before, and let me tell you, this is the best place to start. It’s a gigantic room not even a tenth of the way filled with about 12 yoga participants. Included in that crowd: middle-aged women, one overweight man, more middle-aged women, my mom & me, and even more middle-aged women. It’s hilarious. The most hilarious part is the fact that there is actually a yoga pose called “wind relieving pose.” You lie on your back, pull your leg to your chest, and get extra yoga points if you let one rip. Kidding of course, except that really is a pose. Community Center yoga is the best. 

• Listen to the new Justin Bieber CD: The new Biebs album is really teaching me a lot about how to be successful in the music industry. Apparently the secret to creating a chart-topping hit is to just whisper swag in the background every 17-22 seconds. And if you want to enter a whole new realm of musical genius, simply turn it into an adjective, like swaggy, halfway through those hot beats. 

• Walk my dog & make new friends: I was walking Delilah the other day and as we approached a woman walking her own dog she called out, “I’m scared of dogs!” And no, you didn’t read that incorrectly, she was indeed walking a dog herself. As we got closer she followed up her declaration of fear with, “I realize that’s kind of ridiculous, but I never know if dogs are going to bite me or bark,” after which she proceeded to bark like a yappy, scary dog. Needless to say Delilah and I didn’t make any future play dates with her. 

• Go to the doctor: Since I’m planning on going to Thailand in the near future, I’ve had to go to the doctor on a regular basis these past few weeks. I routinely make a fool out of myself there. My most foolish encounter was when took a chance asking my lady doctor about a suspicious mole on my back. The conversation went like this: 

Dr.: “Where’s the mole?” 

Me: (pointing to my back) “It’s somewhere around this area, it’s the mole with some red around it.” 

Dr.: “Oh, is it itchy? It looks itchy.” 

Me: “Yeah, it’s really itchy, maybe kind of irritated.” 

Dr.: “Yes, that’s a bug bite.” 

My days are riveting, truly. I may not have a job or a routine to my days, but I sure do keep busy with entertaining nothingness.