Alright, alright, I’ll admit it: I watched the bachelor. It began as a family thing. Us Arnolds were all going to watch it and bond over commenting on it. Eventually weeks went by without any of us talking to each other about it, and yet I still found myself glued in front of the television at 8 o’clock on Monday nights. I even managed to suck one of my unnamed-roommates into the weekly routine, which was great because without her there I would’ve just been a crazy person shouting to myself “No, you idiot! She’s a devil woman!” (devil woman as pictured below)
The Bachelor is an absolutely awful show. It is actually shaped to create public heartache and toy with the emotions of real human beings. Plus, even if the two end up fortunate enough to reach engagement in the final episode, it’s nearly impossible to salvage that relationship outside of the show. It’s like making people fall in love in Disneyland for a month, then telling them they can only Skype for the next two months, then allowing them to be together again but in a shark tank of tabloids this time around. Impossible! And yet we as the general population can’t get enough of it. Did you know the show has been going on for 10 years? That’s 16 seasons of more than 400 individuals putting their hearts on the line to be broken on national television. I almost feel like I should give it up the way a vegetarian gives up meat after watching one of those horrific slaughterhouse documentaries. The Slaughterhouse of Hearts...that’s what the show should be called from now on.
Despite all this ranting, I still rather enjoyed the torment brought to me weekly by ABC, and there’s a good chance I’ll watch another season sometime in the future. It’s like a modern day soap opera. Or crack for your eyes.
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