Only in a Daycare

Here’s a little installment I like to call “Things That Would Only Happen at My Job”:

1.       Topless Tuesday and Naked Thursday (Ok this one might happen at other forms of employment, but only at my job can it happen and be purely innocent). Sometimes we eat really messy things for lunch, things like spaghetti with a red sauce, pudding, or any kind of juice. Since those items are a hazard to clothes and kids can’t seem to figure out utensils, the solution is to take their shirts off during lunchtime. But once the shirt is off and lunchtime is over the kids only manage to lose more clothing. So by the time their parents come to pick them up, they’re either down to their skivvies or running wild with their bare bums out. For a kid, everything’s just more fun in the nude.

2.       Public making out. The kids are at an age where they’re learning how to express love. The only thing they know on the matter is that their parents kiss them in order to show familial affection. So when they want to show their friends at daycare that they love them, how else would they do it besides kissing them? The only problem is that the kissing is unhindered. They all kiss each other: girls kiss boys, boys kiss girls, girls kiss girls, boys kiss boys. That’s not so bad, but they do it all the freakin’ time and for extended periods of time. They’ll just sit there with lips pressed to one another and eyes open and checking things out for the duration of Circle Time. My boss is like a broken record throughout the day teaching, “Please don’t kiss your friends. Kissing spreads germs. You can hug your friends or show them gentle pats, but please stop kissing each other.” 

3.        Poop Show & Tell. Typically in any other job people would go to extreme lengths to keep what goes on in the bathroom as private as possible. Not at my job. We routinely clap and cheer when a youngster makes wee wee or poops in the potty, which is weird enough at a place of employment, but the other day things got even weirder. A little girl called for assistance in the bathroom and I found her sitting on the regular-sized toilet. She exclaimed, “I pooped in the potty!” To which I responded with lots of encouragement and then handed her a piece of toilet paper and told her to wipe her bum. She took the TP, wiped her freshly poop-free bottom, and then handed the TP wad back to me and said, “here you go.” There’s no way I was touching that. I told her TP goes in the potty and she was big enough to do that herself.

Next time you’re in your place of employment, I encourage you to take a good look at your coworkers and supervisors and think about what it would be like if they partook in Naked Thursday, Public Making Out, or Poop Show & Tell.