Due to the obtaining of my job, a lot of new characters have been added into my life. I see approximately eight children on a regular basis throughout the week. They’re all beginning to develop individual personalities in my eyes. And I gotta say, babies and toddlers are an odd bunch.
I’ll explain to you a few of my favorites, er, perhaps favorite isn’t the correct word:*
1. First, there’s The Baby Pusher. The Baby Pusher just turned two, and upon that birthday she promptly earned her sassy pants. She thinks she’s big news around the daycare and uses this attitude to push down babies. I really mean that. There are a few nearly one year olds that are barely learning how to stand and they stabilize themselves on tables and chairs and whatnot until The Baby Pusher comes around and knocks them right down to the ground. Those babies must be thinking, “I’m doing it! My legs are sustaining me! The next step is mobility!” and then BAM—The Baby Pusher strikes again.
2. Second, there’s The Potty Dancer, who’s a little boy close to three years old. I don’t remember this special phase in life, but apparently when you’re first learning what it feels like to need to pee your body does peculiar things. When The Potty Dancer gets the urge to go, he can’t quite seem to control his wiggly movements. He starts doing this little squirmy, twitchy, antsy potty dance and everyone in the room knows what he’s gotta do. The most humorous part of all this is that The Potty Dancer would much rather pop, lock & drop it in place than stop what he’s doing and give into his body’s urges by going to the restroom.
3. Lastly, there’s The Bully. The Bully isn’t too much of a bully to everyone else, but he certainly is one to me. He’ll be playing all fine and dandy and then suddenly he’ll stop, seek me out, point a tiny yet stern finger directly at me, and yell “NO!” for no apparent reason. Or, while on his way to do something else, he’ll make a special pit stop purely to b-line it for me and hit me. Granted, it’s a fairly powerless hit, but still, no one likes to be sought out for a sucker punch. Perhaps this all comes with me being the new kid. I gotta earn my in with this munchkin crowd.
*I didn’t use real names because I felt like that would break some unforeseen law of child exploitation.
Oooh, sassy pants!
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